Saturday, February 20, 2010

My zit needs its own bra….

So I think I mentioned a while back that I went on a spur of the moment road trip with my two girlfriends, Lisa and Sami (if you want to hear more about this trip, you can go HERE to Sami's blog; it was one of those short trips that made my innards feel good). Technically there were three of us on the trip, but it felt like four…

The fourth being the big honking zit on my cheek.

It was so huge it had its own heartbeat. I kept waiting on the thing to start growing hair and nails. Although it never did, it did decide that it needed brothers and sisters and, well – the rest is history….

Why am I going through puberty again? I’ve always had problems with my skin, but believe it or not, I didn’t really have issues when I was a teenager when it would have been kind of normal. My little friends decided to wait until my early 20’s to rear their ugly heads. Literally. So at 20-something I went to my family’s doctor who had been taking care of all of us for years; in fact, my mother was his nurse. He was one of those old time doctors that did everything from delivering babies, to taking out gall bladders, to treating toe fungus. He practiced medicine until he was so old that the hospital said he couldn’t have privileges any longer. I guess when you’re 80 something they get a little wigged out about liability. He didn’t care. He just did more procedures right there in his office and I think practiced medicine for another decade. When I went to see him about my skin, I remember him telling me that it was stress related. Being the matter of fact doctor that he was, he literally said, “Until you learn how to calm your ass down you’re going to keep getting these things.”

He obviously knew what he was talking about.

Like clockwork, anytime I’m stressed out, you can see it in my face. Anyway - I finally called an ivory tower dermatologist the other day and begged to be seen on the same day. I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror one more time with one of these alien creatures staring back at me. Since a plane had just flown into the IRS building 70 miles up the road, and due to the desperation in my voice, I think the nice lady that was in charge of scheduling decided she should take me seriously and work me in.

She asked me what my problem was and I told her I either needed Valium or Accutane.

Anyway, I’m hoping that I’m back on track and will soon have these babies reigned in. We’ll see. In the meantime, I have no other news to report because my free time has been spent on my latest addiction. I’m ashamed and can’t believe I have picked up this horrible habit.

Reality TV.

I am so insanely addicted to The Housewives of Orange County that I actually got on the BRAVO TV website and read some of their blogs. I can’t believe I have stooped to this level.

I’m so ashamed.

Do y’all watch that show? Jack keeps saying he can’t believe I’m watching these women. I agree, but I just can’t help myself. I think it’s because I’m shocked that women like this actually exist. They are the most immature grown women I’ve ever witnessed… They are vicious and cunning. Is it for real, or is there actually some acting and sensationalism involved because – well, you know, it’s TV?

What do y’all think?

One thing’s for sure. They might have bigger boobs and diamonds than me, but they don’t have bigger zits!

Y’all have a great weekend!


Stephanie said...

This is the funniest title for a post I have ever seen. I hope it goes away. Zits are never fun.

Unknown said...

I'm just very impressed that you can tie your zit and the housewives of orange county together and somehow make it all make sense!

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

Zits are nevr any fun. Unless you are speaking of the comic strip.

I cannot stand reality TV. In my humble opinion the only real reality TV show is "Candid Camera" because it actually shows real people being real. Even some of the shots on "Funniest Home Videos" are staged.

By the way, my word verification word is "prowear". A possible name for your new line of zit bras?

Laura said...

Be quiet!
I can't stop laughing.
And yes- I watch that crazy show.
What a train wreck- that I can't take my eyes off of-

Crazy Laura

Painted Groove Girl said...

How you pull all this tangential rambling into a blog is beyond me... but you always do it!

Siggie said...

That was so funny! I saw myself in this too, because I'm 45 and I'm getting more zits now than I ever did (sure didn't have them as a teen, at least I was spared that).

Funny about those reality shows too, We don't have the one you're talking about but we have other ones here in Germany and sometimes they are so embarrasing to watch, but you can't look away either!

People don't admit to watching them here, but it's like with McDonald' one in Germany "eats there" but they havn't had to close one down yet!


Deb said...

Funny! I am however sympathetic to the zit situation. Would you say it is a B cup or double D?

Greyeyes said...

Wow!! You always make me smile. Although i have to give Sami a dine for "Tangential".
As for the show and what i think?? Well i have actually seen the show a couple of times, but it didn't interest me. Shock Shock i know. I guess it's because i, being a glorified housewife, have a show all my own; The real housewives of Garland and we're all petty and bitchy...
Be Cool You!!!!!! D

YaYa's Funhouse said...

So very funny. You didn't say if you got the Valium or Accutane!! HA!

Justine said...

OMG, the title of your post was so hilarious and then you hit me again with your zit having its own heartbeat! Holy shit Deb, this was just hysterical!

So, what did the dermatologist prescribe for it? I never had zits as a teen. My skin was nearly flawless. After having my kids? RUINED! Zit city!

Justine :o )

Deb said...

LOL...isn't amazing how you can get sucked in to these so called reality shows...I mean have you ever met anyone that acts like that???

RoseMary King said...

I am totally addicted to the housewives. I hate to admit it but I just get the biggest kick out of these women. They can't be for real; nobody acts this badly. They are mean mean mean!!!!!!! I think it's like watching a train wreck, one just can't help themselves!!!!!!